Is Your College Student Home From School?


After spending time away at college, children are used to being independent and having the freedom to come and go as they please. They haven’t had to answer to anyone, especially their parents. Hopefully they’ve adjusted well to school and have demonstrated that they are capable of living on their own, getting their schoolwork done, wearing clean clothes and, at a minimum, passing their classes.

Now while they’re home, life for them (and you) is different. It’s a new adjustment. Acknowledge the change. This doesn’t require an extensive talk, just a statement recognizing that they’ve been on their own and now they’re home. Tell them you’re glad they’re home (because it’s always good to start with the positives) and if there are house rules you’d like them to follow, state them clearly. Don’t make assumptions that they know or remember your rules, and don’t present them in a negative or accusatory way.  In a thoughtful manner, simply explain what you need and expect of them while they are living home. Hopefully they will see your comments as reasonable.  You should also recognize that they’ve had the sweet taste of freedom for a year and they’re not in high school anymore, so respectfully listen to their concerns and try to be open and flexible.

Open communication and respect on both ends will go a long way to creating a peaceful living situation for both of you.