When you’re in the middle of an argument or a tense time in your relationship, try to take a step back and think of how the other person might be feeling in that moment. It may sound counterintuitive, but if you can, remind yourself that there are two people in your relationship, and both of those people are having a disagreement. Most likely, the other person is also feeling frustrated, upset, or angry.
Thinking about the other person during a difficult time is what the Relationship Protocol model refers to as "turning towards." When you turn towards, you do so because even though you are upset, you still care about the other person, and your relationship is more important than both of you as individuals.
During those tense times, if you look outside of yourself and consider the other person’s feelings, it can change the energy, bring some compassion and possibly give you a chance to re-connect. Give it a try!
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